Don’t get me wrong if I split like light refracted

Dress: Gap via eBay. Bolero: thrifted. Boots: Duo via eBay. Necklace: vintage, a gift. Holdups: Wolford

Hmmm. My head seems to be very full, but not really with things I can quite articulate.

So on an entirely different note, has anyone else read Mr Chartwell, by Rebecca Hunt? Interestingly light treatment of a potentially dark subject. And a speedy read. Look out for the bit with Mrs Churchill towards the end – excellent writing.

Let the sun beat down upon my face

Cardi: thrifted. Dress: F&F via eBay. Boots: Duo via eBay. Necklace: mockinghorse

I seem to have stalled. And changed. In a couple of areas of life, at least. I know that as my mental energy has been going elsewhere this blog is lacking in the more meaty, thoughtful posts that I used to enjoy producing periodically, and I’ve thought about stopping because I’m sure my limited outfit rumblings aren’t actually that interesting. I’ll carry on for now, though, in hopes inspiration strikes. If there’s anything you’d like me to tackle, though, feel free to suggest!

The other area major in which I’ve stalled is craftually. I haven’t sewn for months, though there’s an element of that partly being a summer thing for me, as knitting becomes less doable. And partly because I have reintroduced gaming into my life and there are only so many hours in a day, I am knitting, but I’ve noticed a change in my habits from how they were when I picked I back up again. I’m much more critical of how a given item will fit on me and into my wardrobe, less likely to make a challenging thing for the sake of the challenge. I enjoy luxury fibres but for shawls rather than socks or cardigans.

I read less, too. I still enjoy an hour or so of quiet house to read with some freshly brewed coffee, but I’m also writing more, which fills a related need so I don’t see that as problematic as it could be. Some of it even has a fledgling home online, but it’s explicit and is more snippets than stories at present so I’m not linking directly. You can always email/DM, if you’re ok with written sex and you promise to be kind to the writer, who is a tad rusty on the fiction writing front!

It’s funny, really. Someone commented on my interests today and it suddenly occurred that not only did they, bless them, not really have a clue about those, but that some of the more… solitary ones have shifted a little lately.

Well, I guess it would be strange if I was still doing at almost 34 what I did, how I did it, at 14!

I’m not here looking for absolution because I’ve found myself an old solution

Top: New Look via eBay. Skirt: Wallis via eBay. Boots: Duo via eBay.

One of those days where I’ve thought about what all the little things mean to me. A cup of tea made here, finding my car already ice-free when I leave the house there, folk I don’t know offering virtual hugs when I ask, someone asking if I’m all right if I’m a bit under the weather.

All quite small gestures, but I always notice and and appreciate them and try to offer them myself. S’just what you do, isn’t it?

There was nothing I could conceive That you wouldn’t do for me

Jumper: H&M. Skirt: vintage. Boots: Duo via eBay. Brooch: mockinghorse

I was, for a change, listening to music via my phone rather than my laptop or iPod at work today. So, when a slower track for which I wasn’t in quite the mood came on, I went to skip it. And then saw this:

Erm. Bit difficult skipping a screen containing your first crush in all her 80s glory, as it turns out. I’m sure that was an album cover of which many have fond memories, but I do find it fascinating, and a little sad, that it was years before I admitted my crushes on womenfolk to anyone other than myself. Perhaps YoungMe felt I was going against the flow enough already by not for the life of me being able to see the appeal of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt?

She burns like the sun and I can’t look away

Cardi: H&M. Dress: F&F via eBay. Boots: Duo via eBay. Necklace: www.mockinghorse.co.uk

So, Happy New Year, folks! I hadn’t actually intended to take quite such an extensive blog break, but it turns out that I really needed the sort of downtime that only putting in hours of Skyrim time and spending time with select friends and family can bring.

It’s back to the grindstone now, and while I’m actually quite looking forward to seeing what 2012 will bring, I felt the need of one of my comfier, more casual outfits for a day of leaving the house while it’s still dark and gazing at apocalyptic rain through the windows.

And what did I hear from one colleague? “So, have you put on weight?”. Charming. It’s not quite as bad as it sounds – it was actually a sort of generic post-festive season greeting directed at two of us – so my raised eyebrows were 50% that it was a bizarre start to a conversation and 50% ‘oh good lord, are we really trying to bond over Seasonal Chub?’

I much preferred the approach of another woman who works there:

“I ought to be watching what I eat. So I’m going to watch myself eating a bar of chocolate.”

Fortune depends on the tone of your voice, so sing while you have time

 Dress: F&F via eBay. Boots: Duo via eBay. Necklace: Paul Kidby. Holdups: Wolford

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you finish work for the festive season slightly before many of your colleagues, you will end up staying later than normal on the evening of your last day.

But, while there have been some professional challenges to overcome this year they have mostly come from the overall pleasant place of having lots of work and lots of plans for the business, so I’m actually really looking forward to  a fresh start in 2012. And in the meantime, I’ve poured myself a cheeky Hendrick’s and tonic because, well, it’s nearly Christmas

Your lips look delicious

Jumper: H&M. Skirt: Vintage. Boots: Duo via eBay. Belt: thrifted. Brooch: www.mockinghorse.co.uk

Aaand we’re back up to date! I’ve only one day left in the office after today, so I’m feeling slightly celebratory. Or at least, that’s the only excuse I can come up with for my purchase of this on the way home:

The water is warm, but it’s sending me shivers

 Cardi: H&M. Dress: F&F via eBay. Boots: Duo. Necklace: www.mockinghorse.co.uk

Another awesome necklace from the lovely people at Mockinghorse - I’ve been meaning to get another black one for a while, and, well, how could I possibly resist a magpie?

I’ve been thinking a bit recently about behavioural cues. Lately, I’ve left one group which had started to feel more of a drain than a support, retreated mentally from some folk, reached out more to other folk for laughs (and maybe a bit of shared grumbling), rediscovered my love of gaming (hello, losing-myself-for-hours-in-Skyrim!), had some disturbed nights’ sleep, and found myself less inclined to put up with bullshit.

In other words, I am stressed.

It’s all for fairly positive reasons overall, and all in hand, but nevertheless, this is how I react when stressed: I retreat from that which I’m finding burdensome, lose myself in hobbies, and seek out the people and situations that keep me smiling. Self-preservation, I guess, but in a more sociable form than it would have been twenty years ago, when I retreated entirely inside my own head, so it feels healthier, and healthier still that I recognise the signs so easily.

And basically, if I’m starting conversations with you it’s because either I have to or I want to. If you’re not my boss or my bank manager, you’ve passed some sort of test that my subconscious sets without me really noticing.